I Almost Stopped Talking...About Adoption

In this episode of Adoptees in Arms, I open up about a deeply personal experience—one that almost silenced me. A Facebook post challenged my voice, my truth, and my purpose, leaving me questioning whether sharing my adoptee journey was worth the pain. But through faith, reflection, and the encouragement of those who believe in me, I found the courage to keep speaking.

If you've ever faced negativity for sharing your truth, this episode is for you. Let’s talk about resilience, purpose, and the power of our voices in the face of criticism.

Plus, I’m excited to introduce the Faith Collective for Truth and Healing in Adoption, a space dedicated to faith-driven conversations about adoption. Learn more at adoptionfaithcollective.org.

Let’s keep this conversation going—send me a message or share your experiences. And if this episode resonates with you, don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

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Transcript

I Almost Stopped Talking…About Adoption

This podcast has evolved over time from Hidden Jewels to Adoptees in Arms. Last year, I also launched Grieving Well.

Realized on this journey that healing isn't a destination. It is a journey.

This summer, I had an opportunity to talk with my podcast coach, and she asked me a question that really resonated with me. Her question was, "Iris, where do you feel the breath of God flowing?" After a lot of prayer and contemplation, I've decided to switch to a monthly release schedule with Adoptees in Arms.

I struggled with feeling that I had abandoned this audience, and I'm sorry for that, but I thank you for your grace and for understanding that life happened. For a little over a year, I've lost my footing and I'm slowly picking myself up with the help of God.

All glory goes to Him. I'm still committed to bringing you insightful and engaging episodes. While we will not be as frequent as our initial podcast release schedule, I promise to deliver content that is worth the wait. I also ask that you hang on until the end of this episode. I have an announcement I'm pretty excited to share. Thank you for your continued support, encouragement, and most of all, your prayers. I could not do this without you.

Today, I'm sharing a story that was really tough for me.

It's a story about a negative experience that I had on social media that almost made me stop sharing my story.

Well, it did make me stop sharing my story almost two years ago. I came across a Facebook post that stopped me in my tracks. It was a direct attack on the adoptee perspective, but more specifically, my perspective.

The words stung, dismissing my lived experience and invalidating the emotions that so many adoptees navigate each and every day. It was a hard post to read because it wasn't just mean. Those words were intentional. They were designed to silence me, to assassinate my character. Shortly after I saw the posts, my phone began ringing, and I spent the next few hours talking, crying, and trying to process what had just knocked me off my feet.

I read the post too many times to count prior to a person who was thinking rationally. And that person was able to convince the perpetrator to remove the post. But in the meantime, I felt a wave of emotions. I felt hurt, anger, and disappointment. It was as if my truth, my advocacy, and my purpose were being questioned in an instant.

I felt that the person who made the post had not, for one second, considered my thoughts or even the reason behind the post, but had instead determined in his heart that he would put an end to me talking about my adoption.

The post wasn't just words on a screen; it weighed on me. It made me question why I even bothered sharing my story.

What if I was doing more harm than good? What if speaking out only led to more negativity? The fear of backlash crept in. And it made me wonder if my voice was even making a difference. Then the fear led to silence, and I completely stepped back. I started reasoning that it just wasn't worth it. Why risk the hurt, the betrayal, and the confrontation when I could just sit quietly and let countless other adoptee voices occupy the space that had been created for us? I thought about my actions, [00:04:00] which had led to the creation of this infamous Facebook post.

My mind quickly went to a TikTok video. In the 90-second clip, which had previously lived for an entire year on Instagram, undisturbed by the eyes of any biological family members, I offered a message to other adoptees who may have struggled with feelings of shame because of their adoption.

One week prior to the post, I uploaded the video to TikTok.

I opened the app and saw that what once had been viewed less than 30 times now had passed 550 views.

That day was painful, and the words in that post caused me to do what I had done for the first 35 years of my life.

Remain quiet. I retreated. Relationships shifted, and some even ended. A few weeks after the post, my best friend asked me why I stopped telling my story. "Iris," she said, "I know that post hurt you, but there are others who need to hear your story." That was the spark, but I was afraid to fan the flames.

As my husband prepared for major surgery, several months later, he asked me what I was going to do with all of my time. Of course, I thought he was referring to the time that I would be waiting for his surgery to end.

"I'll work on the book while I wait." "Good," he said, "because you have a story to tell." I did not know that David would never recover from the surgery and that the question he asked me in the wee hours of the morning at Duke University Medical Center would be one of the last conversations we would have.

How could I have known? I didn't. God did. Months passed, and I remembered his words: "You have a story to tell." That was the wind that stirred the spark that had flickered too long. And then the fire ignited. The anger was replaced with an engulfment of passion to write, to speak, to share.

I often reference Eric Liddell, who in the movie Chariots of Fire, states that he felt God's pleasure when he ran. When I heard that quote for the first time over 10 years ago, I knew that feeling because I feel God's pleasure when I write, when I share, when I speak words that are designed to bring healing and comfort to others.

Words that are meant to help others remove shame from their story.

I know that I have been called to share a story. We all have a story to tell, and as long as that fire burns, I will tell it. I am aware that everyone will not understand or accept this truth, but still, there's someone out there who needs to hear it. That realization fueled me to keep going.

In spite of everything I thought and felt about my silence, I remembered something very important, especially in these days and times.

Silence has never changed the world. My voice. Our voices deserve to be heard.

To my fellow adoptees who are listening, I want to remind you that your voice is powerful. Your experiences are valid. The impact we make by sharing our stories goes far beyond the negativity we may face. And my friends, we will face it.

I've received messages from people who felt seen and understood because I chose to speak out, and that makes it all worth it.

So if you've ever faced online negativity or criticism for sharing the truth, don't let it silence you. Keep speaking, keep advocating. Someone out there is listening, and your words may be exactly what they need.

Before we wrap up this episode, I have something special to share with you.

As a result of past podcast episodes and some writings, I was asked to be a part of a very special group of people. I am honored to introduce the Faith Collective for Truth and Healing in Adoption. We are a small group of people who have created a space dedicated to uplifting adoptees, adoptive families, and birth families through faith, truth, and healing.

The Faith Collective is about fostering honest conversations, providing resources, and building a community where every voice matters. If you're looking for a place where faith meets the realities of the adoptee experience, I invite you to visit the Faith Collective to learn more. It will be linked in the show notes.

Now I want to hear from you. Have you ever dealt with online negativity when sharing the truth? How did you handle it? I would like for you to share your experiences in the comments or send me an email at iris@irispbryant.com. I would love to continue this conversation. If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who needs it.

Don't forget to subscribe or follow. Leave a review and stay connected for more real conversations. Until next time, be blessed.